I first learned about this word when I attended Vipassana back in 2016.

I don’t only remember it, but it’s ingrained in my head because it’s the word that’s used to break the hours-long meditation sessions that happen a couple times a day for 10 days. I began to yearn for it, especially when back pain becomes unbearable from sitting up straight, or there’s a mosquito right on my nose sucking out my blood, and we’re instructed to just observe. Observe our breathing. See how everything comes and goes.

Anicca means impermanence.

The word resonated with me so much I had it tattooed on my right forearm. When I learned that it is transliterated as “anicca” from Pali, I knew it’s going to be the name of our baby girl.

And here she is.

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Nothing in life is permanent. Being aware and accepting this fact will only help us prepare, and face the things that will come and go.

It’s a belief that makes me balanced. It’s a belief I want to introduce to my kids and see if it’s going to resonate with them too.

1. Install Docker
2. Create a folder
3. Create a plain text file named docker-compose.yml
4. Copy the code below
5. Run docker-compose up

services:

  wordpress:
    image: wordpress:6.1.1-apache
    environment:
      WORDPRESS_DB_HOST: db
      WORDPRESS_DB_USER: wordpress
      WORDPRESS_DB_PASSWORD: password
      WORDPRESS_DB_NAME: wordpress
    volumes:
      - ./wordpress:/var/www/html

  db:
    image: mysql:5.7
    platform: linux/x86_64
    environment:
      MYSQL_DATABASE: wordpress
      MYSQL_USER: wordpress
      MYSQL_PASSWORD: password
      MYSQL_RANDOM_ROOT_PASSWORD: '1'
    volumes:
      - ./db:/var/lib/mysql

  tunnel:
    image: cloudflare/cloudflared
    restart: unless-stopped
    command: tunnel --url wordpress:80
    depends_on:
      - wordpress
      - db

One of the reasons why I don’t publish regularly is I pre-judge what I write if it’s publish-worthy.

At Human Made, we use a WordPress Multisite. Each area/interest of the organization has it’s own site. This fits nicely with my internal structure. I have multiple interest with varying degrees, and only work on those interests only when I feel like working on it.

What I did is convert this personal site to a multisite too and started creating sites for topics I’ve been putting my energy on. This removes the hesitation if it’s worth posting since it will be in it’s own little space. I can be as technical as I need to be. The audience is my future self, and probably my kids if they also happen to stumble on the same interest.

One topic I’ve been spending a lot of time on recently is FTTH. Here’s an example post of installing NAP box for my ODM: https://www.jericoaragon.com/fiber/2022/12/20/installing-my-first-nap-and-two-clients/

My plan is to document my progress using posts and compile elaborate knowledge base using pages.

I’m actually writing this on Jan 2nd already, but family stuff happened and I’m okay to back-post to fulfill my new year’s resolution which is to publish everyday.

Publish everyday, no matter how insignificant my update is. Why? I feel like I’ve been keeping too much stuff inside my head. Stuff not written down only fills in my limited head space. Once I write it down, I’m free to let go of it. Or look back with what I published when I feel like I need to.

Bad start, but it’s okay

Here’s to a bad start of posting late in the first day of the year. But forgiving myself and still doing it anyway.

Let’s see where this takes me.

For a couple of months now, my days are mostly filled work and family time. I feel guilty with the amount of time I’m spending at work. What I do is every time not spent working is spent on family.

No time to slow down, let alone to stop.

This has been detrimental to me on multiple aspects.

Mentally

With my days filled, there’s minimal wiggle room for exploration and mistakes. This puts unnecessary pressure to myself. With pressure, I don’t operate optimally. Even the simplest tasks take a long time to get started and push to completion.

Emotionally

Even if I’m physically with my family, I cannot be fully present. At the back of my mind, there’s this anxiety of things I need to do.

Not being fully present makes me feel more guilty.

Failing to deliver things on expectations I set hits my self-esteem. A lower self-esteem results to failing to deliver more.

It’s a downward spiral that takes a lot of self-awareness and willpower to get out of.

Physically

With feeling limited of time, exercise was one of the first thing that went away. Without exercise and pushing myself hard, I felt weaker and unprepared for day-to-day challenges. I easily get ticked-off, I easily give-in.

It’s counterintuitive to slow down when I have a lot of things on my plate. But it’s exactly what I need when my days are filled.

If your brain is a highway and you are filling yourself with work, after a while you start to slow down. Your mental rush hour gets longer and longer. You find yourself struggling to accomplish even the simplest tasks.

Today, I took time to stop and reflect where I’m at.

One of the first steps to get out of this rabbit hole of always pressured, always in a rush, and failing to manage expectations.

Hopefully, I get back on track soon.

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be.” – Charles Bukowski

For this year, I’m explicitly deciding to put myself first.

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Self-care

I can’t expect other people to take care of me. It’s a nice-to-have, but I shouldn’t really rely on it. Other people already have their own set of priorities and problems, I can’t reasonably expect another person to put me first.

To change: Prepare and have the capacity to take care of myself

Be a less agreeable person

It’s easy for me to empathize with anyone. This leads me to being an overly agreeable person. By default, I put other’s people needs over my own. It’s genuine, but I’m at a point that I feel it’s a disservice to myself. I’m here to lead a good life, to be an example to my 3 sons. I’m not here to please.

To change: Put my needs first. Less empathy, more enforcing of boundaries. Embrace tension, conflicts, and disagreements. Don’t tolerate any form of disrespect. People may cut me off, and that’s okay.

Indulging myself

Spending for other people is infinitely easier for me than spending for myself. I’m thinking it might be a symptom that deep down I feel I don’t deserve to have nice things. I don’t particularly like the word “deserve” because it reeks entitlement , but in this case I think I deserve it.

To change: As long as I fulfill my duties and roles, I’m allowing myself to indulge guilt-free to things I need, want, and prefer.

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Everything here sounds too selfish to me, but I have to remind myself: The better I take care of myself, the better I will handle life, the better it will be for people around me.

So starting this year, I’ll put myself first.