Put me in a bad situation and I’ll find a way to blame it on myself. Be it lack of action, lack of insight, or lack of preparedness.

This isn’t some self-pity indulgence. It’s more of putting myself in a position where I could do something.

Imagine the alternative: blaming it on another person. What I’m doing here is just unloading an unwanted feeling to another person. How the other person will react is out of my control. Most likely, nothing is going to change.

Putting the blame on myself let me focus on things I could have done instead. Learn from it and apply it to similar situations moving forward.

Do this only if you have a healthy sense of self-awareness

Lately, I realized that this is only applicable if a person have a healthy sense of self-awareness. There’s a thin line between this and “everything is my fault” attitude.

The key difference is knowing deep down that any mistake is not tied to one’s being. Simply put even if I failed on certain things, I’m not a failure. That’s not how human works. I know that a single failure couldn’t possibly define my whole being.

With this mindset, I’m always forward looking. I see failures as learning opportunities. I don’t feel helpless.

Rather, the discomfort I feel blaming myself is similar to the discomfort I feel when lifting weights. Both increases my capacity. Mental capacity with the former, physical capacity with the latter.