Perpetual state of catching up

I’ve been in a state of catching up for a couple of months now. Months! It’s frustrating, to say the least. I can’t perform at my best, I don’t feel good about myself, which sinks me deeper.

Accept not performing at my best

I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard to be in this position. - Down By The Water, The Drums

One of the biggest source of frustration is not being proud of what I produce.

Nobody operates 100% all the time.

I think for now, I should accept that I’m not back at that level yet.

Focus on small wins.

Try to increase capacity

The effective way to increase my capacity is to exercise. A mix of interval and endurance training.
It feels counterintuitive to make time for this when my time and energy are already limited, but I distinctly remember when I was regularly doing it, my stress response was better. I’m more fight than flight.

TODO: Bring workout equipments from office to home to have less friction working out

Make fast decisions

With a lot on my plate, I often get stuck which to get started to. It does not matter which, flip a coin. Make fast decisions.

What’s the worse thing that could happen?

Sometimes the body has a disproportionate response to a situation.

A good way for reality check is to ask: what’s the worst thing that could happen?

I get fired. That’s it. It’s not the end of the world if it happens.

I have a solid emergency fund in place, and we haven’t fallen too deep into lifestyle inflation. My family can easily adjust if needed. Plus, there’s still strong demand for my specific skill set.

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Anyway, I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to be forever (anicca). Hoping to catch-up soon!